


Hold Me Close (Don't Let Go)

by just_folie_a_deux_it



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9528746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_folie_a_deux_it/pseuds/just_folie_a_deux_it
Summary: Brendon just really loves being in Ryan's lap(A series of drabbles about how much Brendon loves being in Ryan's lap)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to https://twitter.com/viceseraurie for the inspiration

In Your Arms

 

The thing about it is, Brendon really loves being in Ryan’s lap.

 

He could list a million and five reasons why, but that still wouldn’t be _all_ of the reasons, and who really cares why anyways? It’s none of their business, and it’s _his_ boyfriend’s lap, so fuck them if he gets weird glances from strangers on the train when he up and plops down on Ryan, curling into him and sighing happily. They don’t know a goddamn thing.

\---

Brendon loves being in Ryan’s lap when it’s cold.

 

When Winter winds have blown furiously at him all day long, trying to pierce through his many layers as he trudges home after a long day of holiday shopping, Brendon only has to think of how close he is to being home (the word being synonymous to ‘Ryan’) and he feels a little warmer inside.

And it’s as if his lover can sense the moment Brendon is about to walk through the door because as soon as Brendon steps across the threshold, shivering and teeth chattering, Ryan is there with a cup of hot chocolate and ‘Let’s get you out of those clothes’ on his lips. After that it’s only a matter of time before Brendon’s hidden away the presents that Ryan could simply look at their joint bank account to see, pulled on his pajamas, and found a warm place curled up in Ryan’s lap in front of the fire. His cheek is squished against the rough wool of the ugly sweater he always makes the guitarist wear during the holidays, his hands are slipped up under it to lay flat against the warm skin of Ryan’s stomach, and his head is tucked just under his boyfriend’s chin. He never can remember when he falls asleep, but it’s no surprise with heat radiating from the fire and Ryan’s hands resting under Brendon’s shirt on his hips, and Christmas music playing softly from the speakers that Brendon always dozes off like this.

 

And of course, he’s in Ryan’s lap.

\---

Brendon loves being in Ryan’s lap when he’s anxious.

 

He can always tell when it’s coming. First, he gets really cold, it feels like his insides can’t retain any heat and he shivers from the lack of warmth no matter how tight he holds himself or rubs his hands against his arms. And he knows it isn’t the kind of cold that could up and be cured with a sweater or some blankets, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try every single time because he hates the idea of bothering Ryan with something as trivial as this.

After the cold comes the quiet, where he forgets that he’s around people and should talk and interact. He knows he looks strange, staring blankly off into the distance and not saying a word, but once he starts spacing out there’s nothing he can do. His body shakes and his heart races and it sort of feels like what he imagines dying is like.

And Ryan knows. He can see it from a mile away and it’s as easy as sliding his jacket off and wrapping it around Brendon’s shoulders, leaning down and whispering “Let’s go home.” which brings Brendon right back. Getting home may be a blur, but once he’s there it’s all over, and he’s being led to the couch and pulled down into Ryan’s lap. He presses in as close as he possibly can, trying to melt into Ryan so they’re just one being. Ryan rubs his back and hums to him softly, cheek resting on the top of Brendon’s head, breath ghosting through his hair. It doesn’t take long before the anxiety is sliding off of Brendon’s skin, slick oil that pools on the floor and leaves him unstained in Ryan’s arms, and Brendon just holds a little tighter to his boyfriend so the other knows how grateful he is.

\---

Brendon loves Ryan’s lap when it’s raining.

 

Every Summer he and Ryan go up to Seattle to stay a few weeks, and Brendon adores waking up to the rain. He’ll lay in bed next to Ryan’s sleeping form and watch out the window, eyes following each drop as they slide down the glass and disappear once they hit the sill. He’ll get up and make breakfast in just his boxers, waking Ryan up with kisses all over his face and the rest of the day is spent together.

Usually Ryan will lounge around, reading or writing, but Brendon is always close by and he’ll make sure to push his way between Ryan and whatever’s in his hands, pressing into the guitarist and wrapping an arm around his neck. Ryan never seems to mind, he’s grown used to Brendon staking his claim on Ryan’s lap, he just rests a hand on Brendon’s hip and goes about his business. Brendon also loves these trips to Seattle.

\---

Brendon really loves Ryan’s lap when they’re having sex.

 

It’s probably easy to imagine why, but there’s more to it to Brendon. Sometimes they tease each other, sliding their hands slowly across one another’s body, no rush or hurry. They’ll kiss like it’s the first time, carefully tasting and mapping out each other’s mouths, tongues brushing and teeth nipping. Brendon will end up pushing Ryan down and kissing down his boyfriend’s throat, leaving little love bites where he pleases and god the noises Ryan makes when he sucks just hard enough on that one spot under Ryan’s jaw drives Brendon crazy. They don’t fuck, no, Brendon will let Ryan open him up slow and careful, and he’ll lock eyes with the guitarist the entire time, teeth snagged in his bottom lip as his hips rock down. And then Ryan’s inside him and Brendon feels full and open in a way he can never explain, and so entirely _loved_ as he rolls his hips down to meet Ryan’s. They go slow, making love and kissing the whole time, Brendon’s hands pressed against Ryan’s chest as he lifts and falls in the other’s lap. When they finish, Ryan will carry him into the bathroom and they’ll take a bath to clean off, and even then Brendon stays situated between Ryan’s legs, smiling as they wash each other’s hair.

However, sometimes, there’s just no time to go slow. Maybe Ryan’s been gone a while or maybe Brendon’s just in one of those _moods_ , but one way or another it becomes an absolute necessity and any amount of time is too much. He loves how they get so desperate, so needy, crave each other so bad that there’s just no time to find a better position than Brendon in Ryan’s lap, plastered against him, their chests flush together as Ryan’s hips snap up and Brendon does his best to rock down. They never last long when they’re like this, always only seconds apart when they cum, and Brendon loves being slumped against Ryan’s front, cheek mashed into the other’s shoulder, wrecked. He loves feeling their sweat-slicked bodies sliding against one another, loves how exhausted he is, and loves how Ryan usually just leans back against the headboard once they’re done and Bren falls asleep then and there, blissed out and boneless in Ryan’s lap. If they wake up practically stuck together all the better because that means a shower and probably morning sex too.

\---

Brendon loves Ryan’s lap when he’s scared.

 

When his demons have caught up with him and it’s late at night and Ryan’s out, for whatever reason without Brendon, and he’s curled up in bed terrified, that’s when Brendon really wants Ryan. He’ll be wrapped in the comforter on their shared bed, clutching one of Ryan’s t-shirts tightly, and shaking when Ryan comes in. The lights will all be off, Brendon’s face stark white in the moonlight, eyes wide as he looks up at his boyfriend.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Ryan usually whispers.

And Brendon whimpers and shakes his head, and Ryan just sits on the bed and opens his arms. Brendon’s in his lap so fast Ryan’s gotta use one hand to steady himself so he doesn’t topple off the bed. He can feel Brendon shaking and he wraps his arms around the younger, rubbing his back and beginning to sing softly. Even once the shaking has subsided and Brendon’s breathing steadies, Ryan will continue to rock back and forth with Brendon in his lap. And throughout the night he’ll stay there, sitting on the edge of the bed with the singer sleeping in his lap, staying awake to make sure that the demons stay back.

\---

Brendon loves Ryan’s lap when he’s sleepy.

 

Sometimes he doesn’t even notice that he’s getting tired. He’ll just be sprawled across the couch with Ryan at his feet, a book in the guitarist’s hands and his own eyes fixed to the TV. The flickering glow of the screen lights Brendon’s face and he’ll be so lost in whatever show he’s watching he won’t even notice that his eyelids are growing heavier or that Ryan’s shifting and standing up. Somehow, he’ll end up with strong arms lifting him up and then his boyfriend is sitting back on the couch, Brendon snoring softly in his lap before 9 o’clock has even hit.

\---

Brendon loves Ryan’s lap when he’s bored.

 

Sometimes they’ll be at Jon’s house and maybe they’ve all had a little bit to drink and maybe no one is paying attention to him at that moment so maybe he walks over and plops down right in Ryan’s lap while the other is talking to Spencer. Ryan won’t notice though, he’ll just shift Brendon into a comfortable position and continue with his conversation like there isn’t a super-hot boy in his lap begging for his attention.

Brendon will huff and grit his teeth, wiggling in Ryan’s lap and tugging lightly at the ends of his hair, but it won’t do any good. Ryan will just bat his hands away and talk on. So of course, Brendon’s got to situate himself and shift around, wriggling his ass and making Ryan’s hand tighten on his hip. He can always tell when Ryan’s noticed him because his eyes will get a glint in them as he talks to Spencer and Brendon can see the slight jump of a muscle in his jaw.

After that it’s only a matter of time before they’re making their goodbyes and driving home. They usually don’t even make it to the bedroom before Ryan’s got him against the wall whispering filthy things in his ear and they sure don’t make it to the bed before Ryan’s fucking him senseless.

\---

The thing about it is, and no one will ever be able to fathom how much, but Brendon really, really, _really_ loves Ryan’s lap.

 


End file.
